July 25th, 2004
I've spent the past few weeks trying to remember a life that passed me by. But why?
Maybe it would be better to start over. To let everyone go, so they can stop living in some dream that I might "come out" of this mindset. But I don't think I'm going. I think me- or the me that I was- is gone.
Another legacy of the Malfoys.
I'm surprised there's any left.
July 18th, 2004
I've been combing through an old box at the Burrow, trying to figure out who and what I am. It's been hard. It's hard seeing all these smiling faces and not being able to connect with any of them. I'd like that past, I think. I'd like that happy, patched-together past, only.. I can't quite get it. It doesn't quite touch me.
I found a piece of wood in the bottom of the box. Hazel. That meant something. Hazel.. for protection. A strong wood, if an uncommon choice. A wood for wandmaking... like I used to do.
Ollivander, are you still out there? Do you remember me? They say I used to work for you.. can you tell me anything of the man I used to be?
Maybe it's useless. Maybe George Weasley is just... never coming back.
Current Mood: depressed
July 10th, 2004
July 2nd, 2004
You say you're the good guys but you really aren't, are you?
I watched Sturgis Podmore shoot the face off of Rodolphus Lestrange as he held his wife in his arms. What kind of deal is that? What kind of person does a thing like that? I don't care what kind of person you all think Bellatrix is- have some bloody human decency, for Merlin's sake. She was his wife- does that mean nothing to you???? Any of you???
And now you're taking the Death Eaters one by one. This after you stabbed Lucius and spread his bloody brains out. I don't think they're coming back. The Order's a bunch of miserable hypocrits and it's going to kill a lot of people before the rest of the world realizes that. But it will. I know it will.
I'm starting to think maybe I picked the right side in the first place. I had my doubts but after last night, they're gone.
Thanks, Podmore, Granger and Lupin.
I needed that.
Current Mood: infuriated
June 27th, 2004
Going to Bellatrix today. She's my sister, apparently the one who saved my life from Sirius. What a hard choice to make, one brother for the other. I wonder what lies between us to where she picked me.
The other Death Eaters are in a frenzy. I don't know what's happened but I think it's something pretty major.
( Private, loosely wardedCollapse )
Current Mood: quixotic
June 23rd, 2004
I'm going to be moved apparently. I still don't understand what's happened or why. I've killed. I guess quite a bit, from the sounds of things. And there is a girl questioning me about it now. I don't know her. I don't know Sirius, my brother, either. And he tried to kill me as well. They're not giving me my wand back in case I go after him, to kill him. Because what he did was so horrible that although she's not said it outright, Dolores thinks I'll try something stupid. She thinks I'll remember what happened, why I had to pretend I was dead. And then go after him.
But it doesn't feel right. Nothing feels right. I can't remember a bloody thing but what's happened here. And that's as much blood and killing as the rest of it.
Malfoy Lucius is going to take me out and explain the rest of it. I need to know. I need to know why he Obliviated me. Why would a brother do that? Did I do something to him first?
Why can't I remember?
June 17th, 2004
Dolores gave me this journal and told me to write it. I think she's locked it somehow so that I can't be spoken with yet. I guess I'm not ready. That's why I'm being kept here.
My name is Regulus Black. I have a brother named Sirius who tried to kill me and then pass it off as work of my friends. So I was taken into hiding to save my life, a false body produced, but due to what he did to me, it's only now that I begin to remember. Jealousy, apparently, is a nasty thing. It would seem that it could kill.
But I don't remember any of this. I can't remember anything. Not parents, nor brothers or anything. She must be right. She says we were lovers, once, and it will all come back to me. It only takes time. I wonder how much.
Current Mood: curious
June 2nd, 2004
Ohhhhh. I made such a fool out of myself. Pen, forgive me? Anyone else I managed to piss off or otherwise offend in the past few days, forgive me? I wish I could've stayed in the ruins with Lisa, never come back to all this death and violence and war. I'm not cut out for it. All I ever wanted to do was make people happy. Really cacked that up, didn't I?
I seem to recall standing in the middle of Piccadilly Circus granting wishes to Muggles. Oh, Merlin, I hope that's not something I really did for the week I've been drunk.
( Private to OllivanderCollapse )
May 26th, 2004
I'm a father.
Was a father.
May 22nd, 2004
So I'm back. I know everyone missed me but do try to keep the drooling and adolation to a minimum, 'kay?
If I told you all the half of what happened, you wouldn't believe me. So maybe I'll tell you the half about the dragon- then again, maybe not. It seems like a lot of things have happened since we were gone though, including a death.
I don't know what to say about that, how sorry it makes me feel. But at the same time, angry. We're Gryffindors- why are we just letting them pick us off for target practice? Why isn't anyone doing anything about it?
( PrivateCollapse )
Current Mood: confused